


I Never Loved You (And I Lied)

by lovelyirony



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fake/Pretend Relationship, I fixed it, M/M, Tony Stark Has A Heart, alexander pierce is an evil lil man, also why do i never tag any of my other fics as alternate universe none are canon, bucky handles this situation so badly. but it's okay, bucky is just. yeah he's himself, kind of. tony doesn't rlly know it's fake, man FUCK obadiah, sorry i hate him so much, that shouldn't have been the first tag but here we are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:40:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25832914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyirony/pseuds/lovelyirony
Summary: “I may or may not have not told you some things,” Bucky says, throwing the guy against a wall.“Like fuckingwhat?”“I might have been a secret agency’s weapon for at least a year,” Bucky says. “In my defense, I remember nearly none of it except for sometimes.”“Except for sometimes?!” Tony yells, brandishing the machete.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Comments: 15
Kudos: 217





	I Never Loved You (And I Lied)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JustSomeoneUnordinary](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustSomeoneUnordinary/gifts).



> let me know what you guys think! thanks for checking it out :) the prompt came from justsomeoneunordinary on tumblr, a favorite and a must-see! enjoy!

Bucky takes a long look at the screen. 

“Why _me_ of all of us? Why can’t Nat do it?” 

“You’re the closest to his type, whereas I am not,” Natasha says, looking particularly miffed. “At least, that’s what Bruce said.” 

“And I’m the smart one on this team for this one,” Bruce says, sliding his glasses down his nose. “Stark likes tall, dark, and handsome. Also potentially someone who could kill him.” 

“I can kill a man! You’ve seen me do it dozens of times!” 

“And as satisfying as it is each time, still not who we need,” Bruce says. “You can be part of clean-up.” 

“Why exactly are we doing this again?” Bucky asks. “Not saying it’s not necessary, but I’m assuming we can get past security.” 

“Ix-nay on that,” Maria says, frowning. “We’re getting Tony out of the weapons distribution game. He’s been selling under the table to a group called Ten Rings, and we need that shut down. Also, his security is impossible to break into. Trust me.” 

“Even past government level?” 

“ _Especially_ past government level,” Bruce says, admiration laced into his voice. “Government level is stupid-easy to hack compared to Stark Industries. Theirs is like breaking into Heaven itself.” 

“Or Hell, depending on your outlook,” Maria says. 

“If their security is good, then it means I’ve been had,” Bucky says. “I don’t think they’re gonna bypass this face and go ‘oh yeah, _perfect_ for the job,’” Bucky says. “Which, by the way, am I just seducing him or getting a job?” 

“Seduction,” Natasha answers. “Bump into him. Disregard his status as a billionaire. He’ll swoon. Rich guys always do.” 

“Good to know next time my rent is late,” Clint adds, actually _writing it down._

“I have no idea why you always grumble that we never send you on missions when you do this,” Steve says. “But back to the subject.” 

The plan is this: 

Bucky runs into Tony as he’s out walking. For a billionaire, Tony is surprisingly easy to track down. Maybe it’s because he knows he’s built up a tech empire and if anyone _does_ kidnap him (and they try) his tech quite literally saves him. 

They’re theorizing if Bucky is an outlier, a chance encounter, they might have an upper hand. 

He’s not sure, but hey. What the hell. Gets him out of the house. 

Tony frequents a coffee shop that is unfairly tacky, has lemon-blueberry muffins, and Bucky is ordering an iced latte. 

He bumps into Tony, sending him off-balance. 

The man is tinier than anticipated. 

Bucky all but lunges to make sure his head doesn’t go right into the glass windows. 

“Sorry about that,” he says. “Wasn’t thinking that hard, sugar.” 

Tony calls all of his friends by pet names. They figured he’d appreciate it. 

Judging by the small smile making its way onto his face, he does. 

“No harm done, not if I get to see someone as gorgeous as you,” Tony says, all but _purring_. “I’m a regular here, and I’ve never seen you before.” 

“Just moved back to New York,” Bucky supplies smoothly. “Work opportunity.” 

He buys Tony a coffee for the trouble. 

Buying a man with all the money in the world, coffee. 

He gets a number printed in blocky, engineering script on a napkin with a promise to “call for a date, if you want.” 

He calls the next day, heart jack-hammering out of control. 

It feels awkward to have Steve and Nat right there, egging him on to take him on a simple date. 

They go on a picnic. The weather’s nice, Bucky’s nervous, and Tony grinning at him is not helping. 

He feels…guilty. He’s pulled undercover work before, hell even gone down the same line of thinking. 

But this…this is different. Tony doesn’t seem to even _acknowledge_ that he’s the most well-known person in the world. Sure, there are the signs. Allusions to business, Obadiah Stane “killing” him so to speak, if he doesn’t get a weapon done in time. 

Tony Stark is far more different than Bucky had expected. He wears old t-shirts and jeans that have definitely been in his closet for a long time, doesn’t always remember to style his hair, and definitely enjoys having Bucky around. 

The terrible thing is that Bucky actually really _enjoys_ the man’s presence. He’s casually affectionate, unaware that Bucky could kill him if he was feeling particularly bored. 

Tony tells him about his day. About the little things in life, like that he discovered that he likes a certain kind of creamer or a funny thing Rhodey said. 

His friends are guarded, but nice. They don’t trust Bucky, and for good reason. 

(After all, Bucky’s just another one in a long list of people that have dated Tony for something.) 

And he hates it when his eyes light up because he’s excited to see him, or when Tony pecks him on the cheek when they get to Bucky’s place (and it’s not his place, it’s a safe house that he had to personalize a bit), and just…

“You catching feelings?” Natasha asks. 

“Doesn’t matter.” 

“Good.” 

They both know it’s not good. 

In order to maintain a cover and not have it blow up in your face, you need to feel a little bit. Or be a hell of an actor. 

Bucky’s not the type to be nominated for an Oscar. .

When he’s lying in bed, he remembers that Tony is the one who’s selling under the table. He’s causing needless deaths and it’s a shock to the system. 

Because Tony can’t even kill a spider. He gets a napkin and shrieks as he flings it out into the patio garden he has. He coos when he sees a dog walk past the breakfast place they tend to frequent in fair weather. 

Tony goes to farmer markets early and buys bouquets and hands out the baked goods to people on his way home. 

He complains that he needs a pinstriped suit but nowhere makes it right. He puts his head against Bucky’s shoulder after a long day at work, and is very tactile. He puts Bucky’s hair into buns and is so delicate. 

And it all is a lie. 

It is a lie when Bucky pushes that one unruly curl out of the way when he kisses Tony on the forehead. It is a lie when he gives him fun space socks and laughs when Tony’s first action is to slide on the wooden floor. 

It is a lie when they go to the art museum with hands interlaced and make fun of modern art. When Tony whispers that he loves Michelangelo, and everyone says he should like da Vinci, but he doesn’t. He can’t. 

“Michelangelo painted and sculpted what he saw, and that was strength in people,” Tony says. “He used everyday models. He created a sense of pride in creation. And I never forgot that, that pride of creation.” 

And Bucky swallows and it’s hard to breathe for a moment because creation is not something he would say. 

\- 

Obadiah Stane knows about Bucky. He doesn’t approve of him because he is yet another distraction that pulls Tony away from work. 

“You’re a golden goose, boy,” he says, putting a hand on Tony’s shoulder. 

Bucky can’t help but be uncomfortable in his presence. He calls Tony “boy” and maybe that’s from knowing him from such a young age, but that doesn’t feel like it. 

“Well this golden goose likes going on dates with his love,” Tony says, pecking a kiss on Bucky’s cheek. He smiles on instinct. 

“Sorry, sir,” Bucky begins. “But he’s only human.” 

\- 

Stane doesn’t like this Barnes guy. There’s something off about him, something that’s too…close. 

He looks into Bucky Barnes. 

Had some military service, was MIA. Almost declared KIA until a guy named Captain Rogers brought him back from somewhere in Eastern Europe, somewhere that Stane was familiar with. 

He calls two numbers. 

One is to inform the military of a surprise cancellation on a weapons demonstration regarding the Jericho missile. 

The other is to a man who he hadn’t dined with in quite some time. 

“Pierce, how do you feel about lunch on Saturday?” 

\- 

Alexander Pierce is a man who is quite easy-going. He can do a lunch on Saturday, particularly with Obadiah Stane. 

“Good to see an old friend again,” he says, taking his wine glass. “What do I owe an occasion for? Did you finally get Stark to agree to marry one of my nieces?” 

“Not quite yet,” Obadiah says, smiling at the waiter. “Could I get the sirloin, medium-well? Thank you so much.” 

“I’ll take the grilled salmon,” Pierce says, handing his menu over. 

“How are the kids?” Obadiah asks as the waiter’s gone. 

“Fine, fine. You know how the younger generation is. Think they know everything when they get to college. Samantha wants free college. Thinks we didn’t pay for anything back in the day.” 

Stane laughs. 

“They’ll do that, for sure. Tony comes back with all sorts of ideas in his head about medical fees and do-good-community-bullshit.” 

Pierce takes another swallow of wine. 

“I assume you don’t want to just know about my kids.” 

“No, no that’s not all. I need to know how much you know about one James Barnes.” 

Pierce stills. 

“What do you know about him?” 

“Tony has a new…partner,” Obadiah says, “and he goes by Bucky. I saw that he was nearly declared KIA. Can’t imagine that that was satisfactory for you.” 

“It still isn’t. You know where he is?” 

“I can point you to his apartment.” 

“Excellent. Are we splitting the check?” 

“I’ll get it, you get the other thing,” Stane says. “And don’t make it too big of a thing, okay? Dramatics aren’t what we need.” 

“Got it. Thank you.” 

They enjoy the steak and the salmon. 

Stane tips absolutely nothing. 

\- 

What Obadiah doesn’t know but probably should have is that Tony was sleeping over at Bucky’s place. 

He would not have sent Pierce there at the time that he did. 

He’s lucky that Bucky still remembers how to kill a man and gets out of the bed, knife already in hand. 

Tony is clutching the blankets, frozen. 

“You… _what_.” 

“Do you have anyone after you to kill you?” Bucky pants. 

Another guy comes up, and he’s not even looking at Tony. 

Well. Looks like Stane looked into him a little bit. 

“Babe, what the _fuck_ is going on?” Tony asks sharply. He’s scrambling to get under the bed, yelping as he finds what is either the handgun or the machete. He thinks he put the handgun on the opposite side. 

Tony pops out with the machete. 

“I may or may not have not told you some things,” Bucky says, throwing the guy against a wall. 

“Like fucking _what?_ ” 

“I might have been a secret agency’s weapon for at least a year,” Bucky says. “In my defense, I remember nearly none of it except for sometimes.” 

“ _Except for sometimes?!_ ” Tony yells, brandishing the machete. 

He’ll have to remember that he has the handgun on the other side. 

“Darlin’, I need you to go to the kitchen and grab my cellphone. Call Nat, tell her you need help.” 

\- 

It’s a whole clusterfuck is what it is. Bucky’s dealing with three different men all in varying states of pain in his apartment, his boyfriend (well, kind of a boyfriend, he doesn’t know he’s not one) is on the front lawn, and Bucky is in his room debating on redecorating tips and panicking. 

“Why the fuck would someone send people after you?” Natasha hisses. “Who _knows_?” 

“Stane, most likely,” Bucky says. “Got suspicious. Hated that I would take Tony out for dates.” 

“Why, he homophobic?” 

“Among other things. I think I cut into Tony’s productivity time.” 

“Oh my fucking god, seriously? You took Tony out for _ice cream_ and that’s what did it?” 

“Most likely. Rhodes and Potts didn’t suspect a thing. I’m thinking Stane knows Pierce, probably made contact. But it begs the question as to why. Because he could get around my timing.” 

“Maybe it’s not Stark who’s selling,” Natasha says, “and that means we’ve wasted a fucking year with this whole shtick.” 

Tony is standing outside the door. 

“You…so you were exactly like the other ones?” 

Bucky’s chest constricts. 

“I–I can’t say no.” 

“So you never loved me?” Tony asks quietly. “Every single time you got me a present, it was just to lead me away from something else? Every single time you picked me up for brunch, it was an act?” 

“Tony–” 

“So after all this,” Tony says, gesturing to the framed pictures and the set of drawers that were specifically for him in mind, “you were gonna look me dead in the eyes and say ‘I never loved you’?” 

“We thought you were selling weapons under the table,” Natasha explains. “We needed to get close without tripping any alarms." 

Tony freezes. 

“Well. You did your job. Now I’m getting the hell out of here. And I’m taking the fucking machete.” 

Tony tears apart Bucky’s tires on his way out. 

That’s fair. 

\- 

Bucky was not expecting to feel like absolute fucking shit. 

Or try to apologize to Tony. 

He calls and texts and even shows up to the tower, but Jarvis says if he comes in then he’ll be obliterated to pieces. 

“Does it help if I don’t care that I die?” He asks hopefully. 

“I do not want to bother our cleaning services with something so...trivial, Barnes,” Jarvis says. 

Even his _AI_ is mad at him. 

Existence is a curse and a prison. He is definitely writing his own eulogy and telling everyone it was Bruce’s fault that he sent him instead of Nat. Nat probably could’ve done it. And not fucked it up and gotten feelings and now feel like drowning to Lana Del Ray. 

“You’re so fucking sad,” Sam says, poking Bucky in the leg. “Stop listening to sad shit, I think it’s affecting Bruce. You know how Bruce is when Lorde comes on.” 

“Yeah, he gets all mad and tells us we’re disappoints to natural worlds,” Steve calls out. “Bucky, you want a grilled cheese or are you gonna deny yourself a functional dinner and eat two pretzel rods later tonight?” 

“Aren’t we out of pretzel rods?” Bucky grumbles back. 

“I’m making you a grilled cheese now then. If you don’t eat it I’m going to tell you all about my day, and I had to wait in a _really_ long line at the DMV.” 

“Ugh,” Bucky groans. “How is your life sadder than mine at this point?” 

“His life isn’t sad, it’s just boring,” Sam answers. “Steve, you’re boring.” 

“If I’m so boring, then why the fuck am I still here?” Steve asks. “You never call Bruce boring when he rants about nineteenth century art and elitism.” 

“That’s because I’m right and I called Cezanne a ‘punk bitch’ and made it funny,” Bruce says. “You are around for entertainment value and aesthetics only. Also because occasionally you let Sharon visit and I love her.” 

\- 

Despite his best efforts, Tony is crying on a Friday afternoon at 2:34 p.m. This should not be happening, but it is. 

Pepper says he shouldn’t have his desk face the door, it’s kind of sad. 

“Just… _god_ I hate that I like him!” Tony exclaims. “I hate that I know he kind of didn’t mean to do this, except he did, but he thought I was a criminal! And I still like him! Even though objectively what he did was bad but I haven’t talked to him!” 

“You’re a sad little man,” Pepper says. 

“If you call me a ‘little man’ one more time I think I might go unhinged and destroy the fourth floor,” Tony says. “And I know that you store your and Rhodey’s favorite coffee there because they don’t mess with cabinets.” 

“You monster.” 

Pepper reshuffles her papers. 

“Well, while you sign these–and you will, stop pouting–I’m going to tell you something.” 

Tony starts signing. 

“While I think that Bucky is questionable at best, I don’t quite think he was there because he wanted something. Other than you in jail, but like. I don’t think even that.” 

“Should I be consulting a therapist about this?” 

“Probably. Are you going to?” 

“I’m me. No.” 

Pepper snorts. She gets one signed form back. 

“He felt guilty taking your gifts. He liked baking you desserts so when you got back home the house would smell like cookies. You’re not the only one who misses that, by the way.” 

“So are you saying I should take him back?” 

“At least talk to him. Decide if you want him back or not. Keep in mind he can’t come to family dinner for a hot minute.” 

“Understood.” 

\- 

Bucky gets a text asking about dinner. 

He says yes. 

Obviously. 

\- 

They go to a restaurant neither of them know. Tony still passes an old dinner favorite, and remembers that Bucky had hated the fish. 

Bucky passes by a breakfast favorite. Or late night favorite. 

He remembers making little pyramids of the coffee creamers and Tony figuring out how to get creative with the tin foil for leftovers. 

\- 

The restaurant has a fucking wait list. 

Fifteen minutes. 

So they’re standing there and making the most awkward small-talk available because it’s not like you can ask if someone is doing fine after they were attempted to be killed and you also found out they thought you were the criminal mastermind. 

At least, you can’t ask it while you’re on a _wait list_ at a restaurant. 

They get seated at the bar because Tony is a gigantic pushover and Bucky doesn’t mind bar seats. 

They order drinks and then Bucky orders an appetizer and it occurs to Tony that for the first time in a long time, he’ll have to ask to split the checks. 

“How have you been doing?” Bucky asks. 

How have you been doing. What a fucking sentence. What a damn question. 

“Are you asking me how I am doing?” Tony responds. “When I found out that my boyfriend was faking it, my uncle was basically Claudius from _Hamlet_ , and I also have to revamp my company entirely from scratch and fired the most amount of people I think I’ve ever done because of said-tragic-uncle? Oh _James_ , I’m doing just absolutely peachy.” 

Oof, _**James.**_

Bucky orders a martini. 

“For the record, I am very sorry,” Bucky says. “About everything. I shouldn’t have done all that I did, and I probably should’ve just asked you if you were selling weaponry.” 

“You think I would’ve _told_ you?” 

“Well no, but you’re the worst liar on planet earth,” Bucky says. “You said you liked my cardigan. You never did.” 

“It was a monstrosity and you know that,” Tony argues. “I hope you burn it.” 

“I’ll let you burn it,” Bucky says. 

“Are you serious?” 

“Course I am.” 

They order from a very nice waitress who most likely has no idea the amount of shit they need to talk about, or the epic level of just…drama. 

“How are you doing?” Tony asks, stirring his lemonade. “Still being a weird conman?” 

“I usually am not the conman,” Bucky answers. “I’m usually the guy who’s long-distance.” 

“What the fuck do you mean long–oh. Oh. Never mind, I don’t wanna know. Nope.” 

“Well other than that, I’m fine. You know. Making coffee. Getting up in the morning. All that fun jazz.” 

(Tony politely does not mention that all of those activities are not “all that fun jazz.” They are not fun, nor particularly jazzy.) 

They sit awkwardly. Tony checks his phone. 

“I still like you. And I want to hear your side of things,” Tony says. “I’m…open option.” 

“You did _not_ just say open option like you’re a college tour guide.” 

“Get to the point,” Tony says. 

“We thought you were the one double-dealing under the table,” Bucky says. “So we decided that I would go in. We couldn’t surpass your security, Jarvis is too good.” 

“He’ll be glad to hear that.” 

(This is because Jarvis is a Smug Bastard. Just like his dad.) 

“And so I was introduced to you. Bumped into you completely by accident, or so it seemed. Sincerely didn’t mean to drop coffee.” 

“Okay.” 

“I was to get to know you in a way that didn’t involve anything with the company so that there wouldn’t be added security measures. You vetted me as a romantic interest, not a threat. You didn’t do deep digging.” 

“Good to know,” Tony murmurs. “I did it after all of…that. You have an impressively mysterious background, Bucky.” 

“I tried my hardest,” Bucky says. 

“Continue with your story.” 

“Somewhere along the line, I started…well I was conflicted. Because Tony, I don’t mean this as a way to sugarcoat, but you are genuinely one of the best people I’ve ever had in my life. 

"And I just…I couldn’t stop hurting myself every single time I saw you because I thought you were this person who put profit over people, and then you weren’t. And I completely fucked that up. And I was a terrible person who manipulated you. That wasn’t okay.” 

“No, it wasn’t,” Tony says. “But it also should be said that I let the wool get pulled over my eyes. I wasn’t personally checking in on the company that I own. And if there were under-the-table dealings, the CEO _should_ know. And I was just compliant with whatever Obie was doing because I thought that he was good just because I knew him. That was…stupid of me.” 

They order food. It’s kind of awkward. They are both pretty sure the waitress has caught on that something is up with them. 

Bucky decides to eat his mac n cheese. 

Tony is looking at it. 

“You want some?” 

“Better not. Your appetite is always huge.” 

“Yeah but you like mac n cheese.” 

Bucky scoops some of it onto Tony’s plate. In usual circumstances, Tony would’ve just swooped in with his fork and stolen it like the gremlin he is. 

But this is not the usual circumstance. 

They split the check. Get the wrong bills. Pay them anyway, because they are nothing if not nice and slightly desperate for each other. 

“I’ll..see you soon,” Tony says. “It was nice talking to you.” 

\- 

They get to know each other as people, after that amazingly awkward lunch. 

-

Tony finds out that Bucky really, really loves getting up early in the morning. He has a ritual that he rarely strays from. Bucky also likes working on cars and bikes, and that’s something they enjoy together. 

Tony loves quoting old movies and talking in the very stupid but very adorable transatlantic accent. 

They find new restaurants to try. They figure out that they both would prefer to not go into sandwich shops. (Varied reasons, all stemming from events from 2004. Do not ask.) 

\- 

Bucky gets Tony a series of old movies and movie posters, which Tony adores. Pepper and Rhodey approve. 

“You’re no longer on the kill-list!” Pepper exclaims brightly. 

“I think Bucky here could kill you if he wanted to,” Tony defends. 

“I could not,” Bucky immediately counters. “All of your friends terrify me on a level that shouldn’t exist.” 

“I’ll keep this in mind the next time I want late night pizza,” Rhodey says. “You should not have shared with the class, Barnes.” 

“Like you wouldn’t have found out anyway,” Bucky answers, snorting. “You found out where to find my middle school pictures and blow them up on Stark Industries’ presentation boards. What else couldn’t you find out?” 

“Bruce’s phone number,” Rhodey says, sighing. 

“Oh, I have that,” Tony says. 

“And you didn’t _tell_ me?” He screeches. “I could’ve been taking him to _brunch_ by now!” 

Tony rolls his eyes. 

“You’re so dramatic. I have no idea where you got that from.” 

Rhodey flips him off. 

Pepper delicately sighs, picking her plate up. 

“I’m turning in the for the night. Rhodey, I’d suggest you do the same.” 

It’s not subtle at all. They all know that Tony and Bucky are going to talk. 

\- 

They’ve been doing this dance for a couple of months now. Going on dates, leaving each other at the door and kissing on the cheek goodbye. Only recently has Tony restarted activities they used to do. It still sends a zing to Bucky’s heart when Tony kisses him on the cheek before he leaves. 

“So.” 

“So.” 

God, what a great start. Really and truly. Their best one yet, of course. 

“Listen,” Bucky says. “I don’t have a lot that you don’t already know. But what you should already know is that I will and can die for you. Doesn’t matter what the circumstance is. And I know you’d do the same, I can always tell. But I know that you dying for somebody is different from me because you carry the world on your shoulders and I don’t. 

"And these months have been rough, I know they have. I’m beyond grateful that you got that lunch with me and we agreed to actually date and have no secrets–except for the time you used the last of my blackberry preserves–but that’s okay. You can use all of my jams and preserves for whatever you want as long as I get to see you for the rest of time.” 

Tony stills. 

Because he wasn’t expecting this many words. He had actually prepared a whole speech. Even practiced it in front of his mirror. 

(Also he was not expecting to be in his ratty old workshop t-shirt, but here he is.) 

Tony _melts._

He crawls into Bucky’s lap, sighing. 

“I’m never leaving.” 

“Really? After all that, and all I get is cuddles?” Bucky sighs dramatically. “The folly of man.” 

“You get cuddles for the rest of _time_ ,” Tony says, “plus a little more. Discounted rate, of course.” 

“Oh, a _discounted_ rate?” Bucky says, cackling. “Debit or credit?” 

Tony grins, laughing. He pulls Bucky into a kiss. 

“Missed that.” 

“Me too.” 

They won’t miss it anymore. At least, not for as long as it was.


End file.
